“Heeeeey, there, Emily’s family! Have I got a sweet deal for you! You know how you’ve got this amazingly special birthday trip planned?? How ’bout I spice it up a bit by throwing in crazy weather so you’ll be 3 hours late? And what if I also make your SIL get sick so she and her family won’t make the trip??”

Thanks, Universe/Fate/Mother Nature/Satan, but we’d rather…

“But wait, there’s more! How ’bout your SIL gets better, so they’ll come after all, but those crazy storms will knock out the power for 48 hours, so the 11 of you will be ‘celebrating’ in the dark? I’ll throw in 80+ degree temps with a bazillion percent humidity for FREE!”

No, thanks, that really doesn’t sound like much…

“Act now and you can also get one lost set of rental car keys, a 7 a.m. tow truck pick-up, annnnd a several hundred dollar fee!! (Offer only good while supplies last; prizes may vary.)”

That does sound tempting, but no thank…

“Order in the next 20 minutes and you can also get a 3:30 a.m. wake-up for a 6 a.m. flight home, but then MORE nasty weather will cause you to need extra fuel so your plane can be rerouted around the storms, which will cause the tire pressure to be too low so they’ll need to change the tires… And by the time all is said and done, you’ll sit on the runway for 2.5 hours and miss your connection home!”

Well… I do love waking up at ungodly hours for a flight that’s super delayed…

“In fact, for one day only, all flights to Rochester will either be full or cancelled, so you can get stranded in Chicago – in the rain! With your service dog-in-training! All day long!! AND THEN you can fly home to Buffalo, rent a car and drive to the Rochester airport, transfer everything to your car, return the rental, and drive home… All by midnight!”

You drive a hard bargain, Universe/Fate/Mother Nature/Satan…

“As a bonus, I’ll throw in softly candlelit rooms…

Bowling alleys with power and air conditioning…

A few of your originally scheduled birthday games and activities…

Visits with family (who needs power when you have cousins?!)…

Lunch at the Mall of America (your family can pick you up after the rental car has been towed)…

Visits with more of your family…

And, last but not least, some delightful Windy City experiences.”

Do we have a choice?

“Nope!”

Well, then… Sold, I guess…

“Trust me: this will be a trip you will never forget.”

Thanks ever so much, Universe/Fate/Mother Nature/Satan

“And remember… no exchanges or refunds.”

I had a feeling that would be the case.

*written from Navy Pier in Chicago. The adventure continues…