“Mama, I’ve got an idea!”

What’s that?

“I’m going to drink as we play this game.”

Sounds like how a lot of sorority parties start.

“Every time it’s your turn, I’m going drink!”

I like how you’re already preparing for college.

“I’m actually just really thirsty.”

Do I get to tell you when to drink?

“No. I’m just going to do it.”

Do I get to chant things like, DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!

“What? Why would you do that?”

Just looking out for your future.

“It’s your turn, Mommy.”

CHUG. IT! CHUG. IT!

“Stop! I’m only going to drink when I want to.”

Not giving into peer pressure. I like that.

“GO, Mommy!”

I’ve landed on Mad Hatter’s Tea Party. Poetic irony.

“WHAT??”

Nothing. I owe you $130. You can save it to put toward your future therapy sessions.